Changes. Choices. Chances.

     Since being fired, I've had a lot of time to think. Maybe too much. I've spent time dwelling on the past, replaying incidents and situations over and again in my head. I've dreamed and fretted about the future. I've both grabbed on to and dismissed the present. A lot of show doorshave been slammed in my face. My heart had been broken. My pride, confidence, and will to live have been absolutely demolished. The past few months, I've definitely between tested; probably more than I ever have been before. Through it all I've realized quite a few things, but the most important is, that I'm still standing!
    There will always be changes in life. Some huge, and some we barely notice. Even of we're broken, all we can do is gather the pieces and start again. Though this gets harder and harder each time, and I'm fucking exhausted, I'm in the process of doing it again.  So many changes in such a short period of time have got my head (and my heart) spinning, but thanks to the love of so many amazing people I know I'm going to be ok!
     As you know, I'm now in the process of figuring out what the hell I'm going to do now. I had a great interview with an amazing company in California, but also got a great offer back in Portland. The two choices presented me with different pros and cons, and I've been going crazy trying on figure out what to do. I kept asking all of you what I should do, which road I should navigate, but I knew all along it was a decision I would have to make for myself. I'd just gotten knocked down by circumstance, bosses, boyfriends, and dumb luck that I lost all my confidence in myself. I didn't believe that I could make the right choice because I kept blaming myself for everything that was going wrong. But the thing is, everything isn't my fault. In a good person who got her ass kicked by a string of bad situations. However, I refuse to let them destroy me. Don't call it a comeback....!
    So, where do I go from here? What chances do I take? I'm taking the choice I think is going to make me the happiest: I'm going home. Though it will be so difficult to leave my friends and family who are here, and this great California weather, I feel like it's time for me to be back in Portland. I'm still nervous and not 100%, but I know I'll get there....

-Eboni